Feeling Empty? Hole in your Heart?

Feeling Empty? Hole in your Heart?

We live in an age where there is endless noise around us, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We are constantly being hassled by our smart phones, addictively checking our social media posts, and leaving on the television just to continue the “background noise.” It is rare that we actually experience a moment of true silence and reflection (especially when you have kids). In fact we often don’t want this. We need to keep the noise going so we don’t feel the emptiness inside of us. If we stop and reflect, we’re only going to feel like something is missing, and we don’t like that. Not at all. I suspect those on their deathbeds experience only silence and reflection and this is when they often recognize that they have wasted so much of their lives on things that did not matter.

When I would recognize this hole, I would want to fill it.

Like many, I suppose, I would put on some background noise, distract myself by binge watching some television show online, and do anything I could to avoid the fact that there was a gaping hole inside of me. I believe many people turn to alcohol, drugs, excessive eating, pornography, unhealthy relationships, or any other activity that will give a “high” or distraction in order to temporarily ignore the hole. I am guilty of many of these as well. However, as we know, all of these actions inevitably end up with consequences we regret. Deep down we know something is missing, but we do not know how to find it or fill it and, well, it hurts.

It really hurts.

Others, I believe, take an opposite approach. They ignore the hole entirely, devote themselves to an attitude of strict obedience to a religion or ideology (including atheism or self-worship), and do everything they can to convince themselves that the hole is not there. While hiding their own insecurities, they look down on and even mock others who are not following their chosen prescription for life. They convince themselves that they have the truth, and that anyone who does not agree with them is a fool. This is not any more helpful, and often is even worse than the earlier approach. However, they can fool themselves for only so long.

There are endless commercials, commentaries, organizations, and people out there willing to entice you to try their “solution” to the hole. After a while you realize that it is all garbage. That purchase will rust, decay, and break. The twelve-step program probably will not change your life.

In fact, none of it works. The hole is still there.

Studying the Bible, it is easy to see that history is filled with people in the exact same situation. They have insecurities, they have weaknesses, and they are broken. They have a gaping hole in their lives and nothing they do permanently fills it. However, they, like us, are not alone. God addresses them, encourages them, encourages us, to come and let Him fill this hole. “Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? … Give ear and come to me; listen, that you may live.” Isaiah 55:2-3 (NIV).

In John 4, Christ spoke with a Samaritan woman, approaching the well near where he sat. This woman, the experts agree, was an outcast. She was coming to the well during the time of day when no one else would be there. She was coming in the heat of the day with the scorching desert sun overhead, when anyone with half a brain would be hiding out in the shade. She was purposefully trying to avoid people. She was a social pariah whose immorality was likely well known in the community. She was broken; she was the exposed version of all of us.

Christ spoke to her, which shocked her. Not only was she a social outcast, but she was a woman and a Samaritan, someone a Jewish male would not normally engage in conversation with. He asked her for a drink. She replied in shock that a Jew would even ask such a thing. He responded, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” John 4:10 (NIV).

What did he mean by living water? He clarifies in verse 13, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” Id. at v. 13.

Soul satisfaction. Eternal satisfaction.

That is what he is talking about; completeness – the fulfillment that ALL of us are longing for and cannot satisfy. A thirst that is finally quenched; a hole that is finally filled.

He confirms this point in the next few verses where she is exposed as a woman who has had five husbands and now was living with a man to whom she was not married, a big societal and religious no-no. Like all of us, she had a need. She needed to be needed. She needed to be loved. She had a hole in her heart and, like all of us, she kept trying to fill it; in this case, with husband after husband, relationship after relationship, never being satisfied, always thirsting. For the first time in her life, from coming to Christ, she would be filled.

She immediately then ran to tell all of her friends about him.

So, what am I getting at here? What is the purpose of all of this? Simple. You cannot fill the hole. There is literally nothing you can purchase, no group you can join, no action you can take that will ever, ever fill that hole. Perhaps you dove headfirst into a sinful life, trying to satisfy the undefinable longing. Perhaps you’ve spent a good portion of your life trying to drown out the call of the hole, trying to quench the unquenchable thirst … but you recognize it is still there. Or, perhaps you have spent your entire life walking in exactness and obedience to everything you’ve ever been taught, following an empty religion on a giant hamster wheel. You have kept all the rules. You feel if anyone should feel complete, it should be you; you deserve it; yet you still feel empty.

The point of this article is to tell you that is that there is one, and only one, who can fill it for you and is willing to do so if you just ask Him. Regardless of your spiritual state, your emotional baggage, your complicated history, he will fill that hole or quench that thirst like nothing else can satisfy. Only coming to God through Christ will make you complete. And do not think for a second you have to “get your act together” before you can come to Him. That is a terrible mentality. He wants you as you are. He wants me as I am: broken and very aware of my brokenness. Christ did not hang out and eat with the pharisees; he hung out and ate with those who knew they were wicked. He did not tell the Samaritan woman that she had to clean up her life before he would give her the living water; he told her that all she needed to do was ask.

Just ask.

Jesus is Coming… Look Busy!

Jesus is Coming… Look Busy!

Jesus is Coming … Look Busy!

I used to laugh at this, and still do, but the surprising thing is there are two true statements here. Jesus IS coming, soon, and we SHOULD look busy, because we should BE busy. In Mark 13:32-27, Jesus himself warns us about his return:

But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard, keep awake. For you do not know when the time will come. It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his servants in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to stay awake. Therefore stay awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or in the morning— lest he come suddenly and find you asleep. And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake.

In Matthew 24:45-51 he’s a bit more graphic:

Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom his master has set over his household, to give them their food at the proper time? Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions. But if that wicked servant says to himself, ‘My master is delayed,’ and begins to beat his fellow servants and eats and drinks with drunkards, the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know and will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

So, this raises two questions:

  • If I haven’t been doing what I’m supposed to be doing, what’s the point now? It would just be superficial, right?
  • If I’m already doing what I’m supposed to be doing, is there anything else?

I’ll address each in turn.

Regarding the first, imagine you’re the hiring manager for a big company. You need to get a new hire, and you’ve got two candidates coming to interview. Both candidates are roughly the same age, have similar resumes, and both are slackers. Both still live in their parents’ basements despite being in their late twenties and both have wasted too much time on video games and social media. One shows up to the interview with messy hair, a stained t-shirt and jeans. The other decides to step up his game a bit, show some last-minute ambition, and goes out and buys a suit, wearing it for the first time to the interview. Which one do you think is going to get the job?

Another example may help.

Let’s draw from Christ’s parable above. Let’s say my wife and I decide to go on a date night and leave the kids at home, giving them specific instructions on what to eat for dinner, chores to accomplish, and the bedtime routine that needs to be done. We go out, have a nice evening together and then arrive home to find the house a mess, pizza on the living room floor, no one ready for bed, and the kids don’t care; they don’t even look up from their phones when we walk in the front door.

How do you think we’d respond to that situation? A month-long sabbatical from all electronics would be the start.

Now, what if on our way home, we send a text message to the oldest child and say, “hey, just letting you know we left the movie early and we are on our way home.” Frantically, the child realizes that he’s done nothing that he was supposed to, so he shouts to his siblings to quickly clean up, get the pizza off the floor, brush teeth and get ready for bed. We arrive to find evidence of a list that wasn’t exactly complied with, and was clearly rushed in the last few minutes, but there was at least an attempt to follow the directions, albeit late.

How do you think we’ll respond to that situation?

In the first scenario the kids didn’t care. There was no respect or love shown. In the second scenario, clearly, the kids got bogged down, distracted, and maybe even disobedient, but when they realized what they’d done and that they were going to be a huge disappointment to their parents (and probably a big punishment), they quickly tried to remedy the situation. A good parent is likely to be merciful in the latter scenario, not the former.

I think that’s how many, if not most of us, are. We have gotten distracted, disobedient and haven’t been doing everything we should; maybe not anything we should. However, God is a merciful God. 2 Peter 3:9 confirms: “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”

Maybe we’ve wasted much of our lives and now the end is near. Should we continue to wallow in our sins and bad choices until the very end? Or should we make a frantic shoving of the pizza boxes into the closet, sweeping the floor, and showing God that we do love Him despite what we’ve done? Again, God just wants us to repent. When the prodigal son who squandered his father’s wealth came back, a huge lecture and punishment were definitely in order, but that’s not what the father did. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.” Luke 15:20

God loves us as His children and His love has never turned from us despite all that we’ve done to screw up that relationship, so it’s never too late… until the end has been reached.

Jesus is coming – so even if you haven’t done anything you should have, God will be happy with your frantic change of heart.

And what about you people who are already doing what you should be doing? Well, imagine you are in a long-distance race. You’ve been keeping a good pace and you’re ahead of most of the other runners. What do you do when you see the finish line up ahead? Do you continue at your normal pace and jog on in? Or do you give it a last final push and sprint towards that finish line. You know what you need to do.

This is my final warning to everyone: Wake up. Look at the signs and what’s going on in the world around. “Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that the kingdom of God is near.” Luke 21:31

God has sent His text message.